REFLECTIONS ON A RETREAT

As mentioned earlier, we recently spent a beautiful long weekend at Sunrise Springs, a resort outside of Sante Fe. We were there to attend the annual Berrett-Koehler authors retreat, an experience so enriching, rewarding and fun that we are already planning for next year's event. We were going to blog about this, but my shoulder surgery has made it difficult to type. In the meantime, a couple of our compadres and new friends, including Roberto Vargas and Amy Lenzo have written about their impressions.

We think you will enjoy them.

Roberto is doing wonderful work with families and communities, and we highly recommend his book Family Activism: Empowering Your Community Beginning with Family and Friends

Amy is involved in many wonderful things, including running the website of The World Cafe.

MAREN

A DIFFERENT KIND OF OFFICE POLITICS

We work at home, together, so we don't really worry about offending anyone at the office when we start spouting off our political opinions. For those who work in more traditional office settings, however, it is worth keeping an eye on that line where authentic conversations leave off and political browbeating sets in. That is why we are feeling downright giddy after Lisa Belkin at The New York Times mentioned our book in her Life's Work column on Tuesday. Please check it out: Talking Politics in The Office.

U.S. voters will be making a huge collective decision in November at a time when the stakes feel particularly high.  A good conversation is an important element in informed decision-making.

To that end, we invite you to read a letter that we have enthusiastically co-signed. It was written and signed by men and women who have authored books on leadership, social justice and community. We have a point of view, and we wanted to share it with others who will join us in making a critical decision to determine the future of our country. If it speaks to you, we hope you will share it with others.

JAMIE & MAREN

JUDGE NOT, LEST YE LOSE THE GAME

We played this game on a road trip awhile back -- or maybe you could call it a combination of wager and game.

I challenged Jamie to one hour of judgment-free conversation. The first person to make a judgmental statement would lose. We would be limited to descriptive language – no judging allowed. For instance, I was prohibited from saying, “Jamie, you are speeding” but I could say “Honey, you are going 80 and the posted speed limit is 65.”

If we stopped for lunch, we couldn’t say, “That waitress gave us crappy service.” Instead we would have to describe it: “It took five minutes for that waitress to acknowledge us, and another 15 minutes before we got the water we asked for. She did not bring the salsa we requested. And I never saw her smile once.”

What was the point? 

We often bury assumptions in the statements we make and the questions we ask. “Why are you ignoring me?” is a judgment that may raise the hackles of someone who is lost in thought but has not meant to ignore you. Why not try: “I asked you three questions in five minutes and you have yet to respond. What’s going on?”

So try the No Judgment Allowed game. I dare you! And then let us know how long you lasted.

We didn’t make it to 20 minutes.

MAREN

CONVERSATION IS WORK







Authentic Conversations blog
CONVERSATION IS WORK Monday September 22 2008I wish I could take credit for this statement, "Conversation is Work," but it comes from The World Café.

The World Café is a book and a community located on the Internet, and it is much more.

The big idea comes from material developed by Juanita Brown and David Isaacs written about in the book. The quote comes from workshop we attended at Fielding Graduate University in Santa Barbara, conducted by Bo Gyllenpalm.  World  Café  is a powerful way to engage 12 or more (read thousands) in “conversations that matter.”

By convening people in an organization or in a community and creating conversations with provocative, energizing questions, people can build common purpose and develop plans for pursuing those purposes.

Click on the links above and read for yourself. This method is building communities of people, resolving difficult issues and creating outcomes of meaning that stick.

Yahoo, more authentic conversations!

JAMIE