The air had been recently cleansed by rain, the sun was shining, the temperature was mild. It was a made-to-order beautiful morning when Jamie and I faced each other three years ago and committed spending the rest of our lives together.

We both had been married before, and neither of us took the ceremony nor the commitment lightly. We invested significant time and discussion creating our own vows, because they would articulate the vision of the life and relationship we intended to create together.

During a workshop we did last week, one man asked us with a sort of amused exasperation: "Do you guys ever fight?" We laughed. Yes. Of course we fight! Like any couple, we are confronted with the difficult issues that come with complex histories, blended families and the problems that life has a habit of throwing in your path. These vows, a concrete expression of who we want to be in this marriage, are especially meaningful because they help pull us into the authentic conversations we need to have to honor our intentions.

In commemoration and celebration of the third anniversary of that perfect day, we are posting our wedding vows:

I promise to be fully accountable for the success of our life together, even in difficult times.

I promise to nurture and protect every aspect of our relationship.

I promise to honor and embrace your family, as I do my own.

   I promise to extend forgiveness, and to embrace humility in the face of my own failings.

   I promise to keep our conversations alive by extending good will, being transparent and listening with an open heart and mind.

   Finally, I promise to always pay attention, to love you more each and every day, and to demonstrate my love for you with conscious action.

   I make these promises honoring your divine spirit, our spiritual union and recognizing the divine light that unites us all.